I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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