just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
