Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
