So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
