eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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