pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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