You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize