i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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