so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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