Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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