I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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