he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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