i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
