I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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