Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
