the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
