After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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