marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
