idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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