It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize