as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
