dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
