I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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