y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
