I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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