he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
