I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
