Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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