Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
