matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
