what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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