But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
