I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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