ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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