Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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