And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
