actually, I'm a sock model
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
