It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize