when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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