She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
