Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
