I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
