ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
