i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
