I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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