oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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