I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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