I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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