whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
