What a fucking waste of an outfit
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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