I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
