I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.