How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
