Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.

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(214): View more from Texas

Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS

(210): View more from Texas

Put my glitter back.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.

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(216): View more from Ohio

There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.

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(217): View more from Illinois

it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....

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(577): View more from

I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle

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(775): View more from Nevada

The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy

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