Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
