My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
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Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
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I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.