i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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