Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
