he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
