HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
