It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
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I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
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Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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