Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
