I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
