Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Come share oat with me in your robe
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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