I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Drunk is not a location!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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