Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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