I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize