Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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