Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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