we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
