This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
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