is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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