Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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