Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
