sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
